The conversation about moving to California started a long time ago. 

Honestly, I’d hoped it would go away.

 But there was a part of me that knew it wouldn’t. 

You see, I have creatives.  The kind of kids who love theater and art and so much of that sort of thing live in California.  So, after many conversations and lots of prayers, the decision was finally made: California or bust.

The Hard Part Begins

How do you get two young men across the country, with all their stuff, without breaking the bank?

Well, it just so happens I married one of the most frugal men in the country, and he had an idea. At first, this idea seemed unrealistic to me, and I spoke up about that. But as time went on, I began to see the wisdom in what my husband had suggested. It was unconventional, but so much of our life has been anyway; what was one more thing?

I believe this is a good point to say that if you have something in your heart that feels too big or if people might not understand when you do it, ask yourself if you would regret not doing it in five, ten, or even twenty years. 

Perspective helps.

And, be brave. 

Once the decision was made, a date was chosen. 

March 15.

My friend likes to remind me it’s the Ides of March. 

At the time, March felt far away. I took comfort in that. But the holidays came and went, then the New Year, and suddenly it was February.  

When the Countdown Became Real

The dread began to set in. 

Every day that passed felt like the final countdown of a life we’d cherished. I’ve been so fortunate to have all three of my grown kids nearby for several years. To imagine two of them living across the country felt like a gut punch. 

We raise our kids to leave our home and build their own lives. I think most of us want our children to live nearby so we can share milestones and celebrate birthdays together. So, wrapping my mind around both of my sons living over two thousand miles away made me feel sick to my stomach.  

No matter how much we try to share life, the miles will limit us. 

But Jeff and I firmly believe everyone needs their own adventure. 

And California was going to be our boys’.

Logistics and Letting Go

How do they get there without spending a fortune?

We discussed moving trucks, hotel stays, and driving thousands of miles across the country. None of that sounded good to any of us. Then Jeff had an idea. The one I mentioned earlier that I initially disagreed with.

“How about they ship their cars to California and fly out there,” Jeff said. “But what about their furniture? They have to have beds and couches and dressers and such,” I responded. “Why?” was Jeff’s rebuttal. “They need stuff!” I said. 

Well, after pricing everything and looking at the map for the long drive, it didn’t take me long to realize that their whole life’s worth at this point wasn’t worth what it was going to cost to get it all out west. And the drive in a box truck sounded like torture. 

After much discussion, it was decided.

The boys would fill their cars with everything they could, pack two big suitcases, and sell everything else. Basically, they would arrive in California with little to nothing and start over. And, amazingly, they loved the idea. 

And so it began.

We helped Travis move out of his apartment after 3 years and sold a lot of it on Facebook Marketplace.  The rest went to Goodwill, and some is still in our garage.  Christian cleaned out everything he could from his room and arranged a work transfer from Greenville to Highland Park, CA, through his employer. 

I wish I could remember everything that happened as we prepared for this major change.  Each of us felt the hand of God in this decision.  He smoothed out so many wrinkles in the plan and gave us all a real sense of peace about what was ahead.

But peace doesn’t mean you don’t feel sadness.

And every day of February, I felt the weight of what was coming.

So many of you have already experienced this.  Your adult kids moved away long ago.  Several of you have reached out to offer comfort and encouragement, and I can’t tell you what that has meant to me. 

Every season of life comes to an end sooner or later. This beautiful season of living within minutes of each other and enjoying Sunday lunches together has now come to an end.

It’s a new season, and we will learn to navigate it.

Once March got here, it was game on for the boys. 

They arranged car shipping, bought plane tickets, and made sure all the loose ends were taken care of with their new apartment, and so many other details.  The apartment they originally thought they would live in fell through about two weeks before the move.  They were a bit panicked.  I had no idea how hard it is to get an apartment in Highland Park, California.  They found another one, had a virtual tour, and pretty much signed on the dotted line all in one day.  Of course, there were many more details involved, but you get the idea.

Car shipping turned out to be such a great idea. 

Honestly, I didn’t even know this was a thing until a couple of years ago.  We met the giant truck in the Publix parking lot a week before they were leaving and watched as they loaded the cars for the long drive across country. 

 The Goodbye

And then it was time.

I’ll never forget March 15, 2026.  Jeff and I didn’t sleep much the night before; it all felt so heavy.  At four o’clock in the morning, we loaded our cars with suitcases and headed to the airport to drop off two of the most important people in my life.  I wanted so badly not to cry but to send them off with smiles and excitement.  But, no matter how hard I tried, the tears came. 

I’ll never forget them walking away, into the airport, to catch a flight to the farthest you can be in the US from our home.   It felt like my heart was being ripped out.  I understood this wasn’t just a trip or two guys heading off to school. They were moving.   Going to live somewhere else permanently.  For who knows how long, maybe forever.  And nothing would be the same. 

That’s the part that tore me up.

A New Beginning

Fast forward to today.

The boys landed in California after a long flight.  They made it to their apartment, then they called to give us a FaceTime tour.  Their cars came the next day.  They’ve explored a little, but mostly just shopped for basic supplies.  Currently, they have bean bags, a few kitchen items, and a TV.  Oh, and foam mattresses that are directly on the floor. 

But, you know what?

They are SO HAPPY!

And that makes my Momma heart happy.

I still cry easily when I see things that remind me of them.  I still text way too much and have called every day.  But, even in the midst of all the change and pain, I wouldn’t change a single thing. 

They are having their adventure!

And I want that for them.

I’m still sorting through my emotions.  I think I realize it’s going to be a one-day-at-a-time sort of situation. 

Travis said something on the phone that touched my heart deeply.

“This is your adventure, too, Mom.  We have you hear with us.  We see you in how we load the dishwasher and how we decided to set up the kitchen.  We brought all that we’ve learned out here with us.”

Maybe that’s what motherhood becomes in the later chapters, learning to let their adventures shape ours, too.