Merry Christmas!

It was the winter of 2004 and Christmas was wonderful!  Time together as a family was just what we all needed.  But, much sooner that we would’ve liked, it was time for Jeff to go back to Florida.  The kids and I had made a life in Brewton, the schools were great, living with my parents was a blessing; they were so helpful and supportive.  Even with things going well, our hearts were still heavy that we couldn’t be together.   But we understood that the only way out was through, so Jeff drove the eight hours back to Sanford and resumed his rigorous schedule.   

I, on the other hand, didn’t feel busy enough with substitute teaching.  The school called once in a while, it seemed they had a long list of subs and I was only occasionally needed.  To be honest, I’m pretty sure I was barely adequate.  This is where I’d like to tell every teacher how amazing you are and how much we appreciate you.  Your job is relentless and incredibly important, you really are impacting a whole generation.  Thank you for all you do.   The days I didn’t teach, I would find ways to stay busy, but the quiet moments allowed too much free time in my brain.  I missed my husband, our life, basically everything. I cried and wished for ways to make the time go by faster, I also learned to lean on God in ways I hadn’t before.  He really is a friend like no other.

Have you ever noticed when you’re going through something really hard, it’s tough to be thankful in the moment?  Maybe some of you feel thankfulness throughout a hard experience, but I bet there are others out there, like me, who find it hard to feel anything but burdened when the blue skies of life become cloudy and you find yourself in a thunderstorm of difficult circumstances.  I’ve learned something about this as I’ve gotten older, I may not feel thankful in the moment, but I can look back, once it’s passed, and feel thankful for the lessons I learned.   And, these days I am finding myself able to be somewhat thankful right in the middle of a tough season because of the many times God has proven himself to be faithful.  I love the quote “a hard fought hallelujah,” I’ve had so many of those in my life and I bet you have too. What the past has taught me keeps me hopeful in the present and reminds me to trust him with whatever lies ahead.  

Hallelujah!

Meanwhile, down in Florida, Jeff had run into a dilemma.    Delta Connection Academy had been a great place to start his training and receive some of his ratings, but the speed at which things were moving wasn’t quick enough.  He was on limited time and money with a wife and three kids needing stability and income.  So he began to look for another option.  At this point he was ready to fly the hours needed to receive his multi engine rating; he had already earned his private, instrument and commercial.  He was still carrying his doubled-up Walmart bags, but, thankfully, hadn’t needed them.  So the search began to find another flight school who could help him get this rating quickly; it was right after Christmas he made the tough decision to make some scary changes.  ATP was the training center he ended up choosing for his multi-engine rating, it was a perfect place to get this done.   ATP was short lived though, he left there immediately after his multi rating and signed up at Regional Airline Academy, it was here he would get his instructor’s ratings.  When he first arrived at Regional, he went to the office and asked for any odd jobs he could do while he worked toward his instructor’s ratings.  He ended up painting, drywall work, and all sorts of odd jobs as he flew the hours needed and passed the different flight tests to become an instructor.  The reason this rating was so important was because he would finally be earning money instead of spending it.  So, in case you lost count, at this point Jeff is working at the church part time as the janitor, painting houses with a paint contractor from the church, flying as much as possible to earn ratings every single day, now he’s a handyman at his new school, and soon he would be instructing other pilots helping them to get their ratings.  It makes me tired just to type it. I can’t imagine living it but he did and amazingly, he thanked God all the time for every opportunity.  

Jeff and I have talked a lot about all of this lately, and every time we talk he reminds me of all the miracles that happened during this period of transition.  It’s easy to forget things God has done when we’re busy living our lives. I’m reminded how (in Joshua 4) God instructed the Israelites to build an altar from the riverbed to remind future generations of the miracle God performed by parting the Jordan.  How he told them to tell the stories of his faithfulness to their children and grandchildren, to talk about it at dinner, and in the fields and around the evening fires, it’s important to REMEMBER.  And that’s why I’m here, writing all of this to the best of my ability so that we will remember the GOODNESS of God.

One miracle Jeff and I talked about just this morning was how every instructor he had miraculously didn’t have any other students.  This matters because it enabled Jeff to fly as much as twice a day to complete the lessons and get the hours he needed to keep moving forward at a quick pace.  It was at Regional he earned his CFI and CFII ratings and FINALLY he would no longer be the student but rather the “teacher.”  That’s right, the late spring of 2005, AMAZINGLY, Jeff became Instructor Jeff Carlson.   It was a time of celebration!  It was finally happening, and we, even in the midst of loneliness, sadness and exhaustion, REJOICED!

In Alabama the kids and I were counting down the days until we went back to Florida.  We had some tough decisions to make about the next school year.  Another year apart seemed too hard to face so we had to figure out our living situation, and I would need steady work.  I remember many nights lying in bed with Abbie next to me wondering and praying about what was next.  Still so far to go, but so thankful to be making progress.  Life was hard but good. 

Jeff was finally a real pilot.