Leaving Jeff in Florida was the hardest part of this whole journey.   It was a sacrifice we were willing to make because it meant the kids would be in a school system we trusted and Jeff would have unlimited time to focus solely on training.  In hindsight, it was a good decision, but in the moment, we questioned everything. 

The kids and I arrived in Alabama a bit road weary, and heavy hearted, but as ready as we could be to take on the days ahead.  My parents cleaned out two bedrooms of their home and offered them to us; Abbie slept with me and the boys slept in the second bedroom.  The kids would be starting fifth and third grade and kindergarten respectively, and I signed up to substitute teach.  I’d never taught a day in my life, but, hey, we needed the money and, even though it intimidated me, I knew I could do it. It was such a gift to be able to stay with my parents, it meant I would have help getting the kids to and from school, and just help in general.  It was also nice to have someone to talk to besides the kids, I didn’t realize how much I missed adult conversation: Jeff had been so busy, I felt alone a lot of the time.  It was no one’s fault, we were in the thick of it and there really wasn’t time to stop and assess our feelings or work out a schedule, we just lived each day as it came and dealt with whatever it brought.   I’m confident some of you can relate, maybe you’re living through something really hard right now.  Let me encourage you to hang in there, it does get easier.

Change will always cost you something.

Meanwhile, down in Florida, Jeff continued training; he was working hard to earn his private pilot’s license and still carrying his Walmart bags, thank goodness he hadn’t needed them.  But, living by himself as a happily married father of three, was proving to be hard on him.  No matter how busy he stayed, there was this nagging feeling of loneliness he couldn’t escape.  The kids were attending school, getting involved with activities, growing taller, losing teeth, changing in so many ways and he was missing all of it.  We did a good job of communicating, we talked every day, but there is no amount of time on the phone that can possibly make up for those hugs at bedtime or morning routines; he wavered between deep gratitude for the opportunity and a quiet ache for time lost with his family.   Add his mixed emotions to the difficult work of becoming a pilot and you can see he was dealing with challenges from all sides. 

The school year started and the kids and I fell into a good rhythm, but I began to see that all the changes had taken a toll on them, it would be good to be in one place for a while. I have to say, they were such little troopers, but looking back, I wish I had done a better job preparing them for what was happening, and talked to them more about what they were feeling. I’m from a generation where kids were meant to be seen more than heard, I was in no way neglected, kids were just allowed (and expected) to be kids back then.  We played in the yard and drank out of the hose, and climbed every tree we could find.  But, I was never really taught how to understand my own emotions, and, as you know, emotions can be a tangled mess at times.  So, as a (fairly) young mom at this point, who was still learning to deal with her own emotions, I didn’t know how to teach my kids to untangle theirs.   I just assumed they would climb trees and play in the yard like I did, I didn’t learn until they were much older how hard this really was for them.  Don’t get me wrong, they loved the adventure of it all, but, they didn’t always understand why we kept going from one place to the next; we lacked roots and that had a lasting impact on them.   Thankfully, those days didn’t break us, but they did leave wounds that took time to heal.

Meanwhile, Jeff was working through his ratings and flying almost daily.   First it was private, then instrument, then multi but as the holidays were getting close, Jeff began to realize he needed to make some serious changes if he was going to get through all the many levels of training in a reasonable amount of time.  We were short on money and we couldn’t continue at the pace the school had set for aspiring pilots, it would take too long.  It was a dilemma for sure.

But, before I get into the big changes that were coming, I want to tell you about how God provided community for my husband in the most beautiful way.   It was fall and Jeff was missing family, so he did what we’d always done, he went to church.  We had attended a few churches over the summer but hadn’t committed to any one of them.  He found a Nazarene church and it didn’t take long for him to get to know the Pastor, and once the Pastor realized he was a former music director, he asked him to help with the music program.  Of course, Jeff agreed to this, and through this volunteer work he began to find friends.   It was the greatest gift at a difficult time.  He sang duets, helped lead congregational worship, sang in quartets, all sorts of singing and he loved every minute of it.  It wasn’t too long before an opening for employment at the church was posted and Jeff applied.  They hired him, and he was so grateful for a job that worked around his schedule. He became the church janitor, he did this for most of his time in Florida and we are forever grateful; it helped financially, and that helped to ease the load mentally.

I need you to know something about my husband, none of this was even close to easy; he worked SO HARD in every way.  He had long days of flying, in spite of airsickness, he studied constantly, carrying around hundreds of index cards full of information, he worked nights as a janitor, even through exhaustion, and he scrimped on food to save money, he ate more canned tuna than a person should.  This dream was the hardest thing he’d ever worked for, but, in spite of it all, nothing could dampen the underlying joy he felt because he was given the opportunity.  There is so much more to tell you about the changes that were coming for us, but first, it was time for Christmas and Jeff planned a visit to Alabama and we were thrilled!

Merry Christmas to us! 

We were finally going to be together after a long, hard fall.