Church wasn’t just a part of our lives; it was our life.

It’s taken me a long time to find the courage to tell our story because it’s hard to tell it without touching the choices other people made along the way. Our lives are so intertwined that it’s impossible to separate one person’s decision from another’s.

Some of these decisions made my life easier and better, and others made it harder. The truth is, we enjoy the easy times and learn in the hard times.   When you look back, because hindsight is always clearer, you might find it doesn’t hurt as much to remember the wound someone caused with their insensitive comment.

Age helps to see things through a different lens, or maybe you finally see that what someone meant for harm, God used for good. 

So back to the story…

In spite of my efforts, I was going to keep living the same life I’d always lived, church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. Repeat.   It wasn’t the life I thought I wanted, but the truth is, I didn’t really know what I wanted at twenty-something.  

I think I just hoped for something different. 

Jeff, on the other hand, was excited to start this new adventure.  Two people headed to the same place with very different opinions about it.

When we agreed to the job at a small(ish) church in Alabama, we didn’t ask for much money. We figured you can’t put a price on being where God tells you to be. And, frankly, we had no real experience. 

The official job offer was for Jeff to be the choir director, music director, and youth pastor.  It seemed overwhelming, but we believed that what we lacked, God would provide.  

And he did. 

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. Initially, we tried to live solely on the church’s money, and I hoped to get a job to supplement it.   My plan was also to finish college, but I got pregnant instead.  I remember feeling so excited for the new little life growing inside of me, yet unsettled about how we would manage it.  Daycare was pricey, and we didn’t see how we could afford it.  After many discussions, we decided I would stay home with our first baby, Abigail. 

Even though we tried to pinch pennies wherever we could, we still needed more money.

So, Jeff took a second job as a school bus driver to supplement our income and to provide health insurance for the family.   It was a tough time, but I don’t know many young couples who haven’t had to work really hard at the beginning, hoping for something more in the future. 

We always reminded ourselves we were “building something.”

We made some amazing friends here, literally some of the BEST people.  We worked hard and learned a lot.  The choir and youth group flourished under Jeff’s leadership.  There were choir cantatas and plays, youth trips and baptisms. It was a time of service and giving all we had for a cause greater than anything else. 

We grew by leaps and bounds, and it’s our greatest hope that what we did made a difference.  I could tell you story after story, like how there was once a fight outside the church.  No one was seriously hurt, but it was terrifying at the time.  We were young and learning fast. The youth group grew quickly, and with so many kids coming, who didn’t share the values we were trying to teach, we ended up with several who only wanted to disrupt. It took some time, but we finally managed to attract (and keep) the kids who wanted to learn about Jesus.   

In fact, so many youth were attending that we had to buy a bus, a big, yellow out-of-commission school bus, and a good-hearted member drove it around town to pick them all up.  We had the bus painted, and it looked pretty nice, in our opinion. 

There was also the time Jeff pretended the church van was out of gas and had the teens on board push it to the gas station.  Sorry if you’re reading this and you were one of those teens, you may only just now be finding out it was a joke…on you.    It was all in good fun and made for wonderful memories.

To this day, we keep in touch with some of the youth from that time in our lives. They’ve turned out to be truly wonderful people.

But in real life, there’s no such thing as a perfect church, and this one had its share of problems. 

If I could humbly offer a word of advice, be kind to your young youth pastors. Give them grace. They are learning and growing in ways you can’t possibly imagine, and your encouragement means the world to them.   It was in this church that I learned to love Bible study and began writing, just a little.  I wouldn’t find my footing in the writing world until much later, but it was a start.  We were fortunate to have some wonderful families who took us under their wings. one in particular, with whom we would stay in close contact for years to come.  

We lost them recently; my heart still hurts when I think about it.   

We also had an amazing choir. 

Jeff loved music, and one of his greatest joys was selecting music and cantatas for the twenty(ish) member group.  They were a faithful bunch. We had two rehearsals a week, one on Sunday afternoons before church and one after church on Wednesday nights. 

We are so grateful to those who made choir a priority. They taught us as much (or more) as we ever taught them.  I still smile when I think about the musicals that involved some acting parts, and the group ensembles that required extra practice.   

Some lasting friendships formed during these days of learning music and late-night practices. 

Something not many people know is that every Sunday, Jeff would wake up sick, literally nauseous.  He was so nervous that it took a toll on his body.  Every week after church, he would come home and lie down, exhausted physically and mentally.  For some, being in front of a crowd each week is no big deal, but to my painfully shy husband, it was excruciating.   He never gave up or gave in, and honestly, it still amazes me.  I cannot tell you how much I admire him. He never let the fear keep him from what he felt God wanted him to do. 

You’ll hear a similar theme later when I share the story of his flight training.

Jeff also added continuing education to his list of things to do, as if he didn’t have enough on his plate.  He decided to apply and study for his official minister’s license.  He completed most of the coursework online and through the mail. It ended with an ordination service in which we pledged lifelong ministry to the Lord and the church. 

I can see some of you squinting at that last line, “Lifelong ministry to the church…  Well, how are you a pilot?” That’s probably your question, and, honestly, it’s a good one.  Hang in there with me and hopefully I can explain…