Today I’m sharing with you a tribute I wrote about a special friend that passed away this week…

We were in our early twenties when we first met an extraordinary woman otherwise known as Billye Jean.

Little did I know at the time that my life would be forever impacted.

We were young and fresh out of college and headed headlong into full time music and youth ministry. Honestly, we didn’t know what we were doing, we just loved Jesus and wanted to help others with the gifts God had given us. This landed us in Dothan, AL, at a church full of wonderful people and our very first “official” job. The first time I met Billye Jean she treated me as though she’d known me my whole life, she was like that. Always making you feel like you were known and loved, she had the most amazing way of making you feel like you belonged in her life, like you were meant to be there.

I loved her for that.

It didn’t take long for us to feel a special connection to Larry (her husband) and Billye Jean, at the time it was just Jeff and me, our kids hadn’t’ come along yet. We were in such need to be “adopted” in our new community and BJ took us under her wings. I cannot count the number of Sunday nights she’d have us over for fried egg sandwiches, we’d watch football and eat ice cream with Larry. All three of our kids came along while we lived in Dothan and she continued to have us over, loving each of the Carlson kids from birth. I always thought it was so thoughtful of her to come up with special names our kids could call her, she wasn’t having Mr. Larry and Ms. Billye Jean, oh no, they would be called Mama and Papa Hardy. And so it was, the family connection sealed with special names that endeared us to them for many years to come. My oldest son, who loved them so much, struggled to say their new names correctly and so they were renamed, lovingly, Mama and Papa Party. There you have it, Mama and Papa Party forever. My kids are grown and still, to this day, that’s their names. I don’t know about you, but I would love to be called a party. Best names ever.

The years rolled by and it’s impossible to say how much BJ helped us in our first ministry assignment. She loved those kids and loved us; she made a huge impact on ALL of our lives.

After six years, we moved from Dothan and I secretly wondered if we’d stay in touch with Mama and Papa Party, I mean, even the best of intentions can’t span the number of miles that separated us. We moved in the summer and I sent emails, yes emails, back and forth with Billye Jean telling her all about our new place and new church. (This was before texting and facetime calls.) She always wanted to know and always reminded us that we could do it, whatever “it” was, because we had the love of Jesus as our strength. I loved those email exchanges, they were like light in a difficult time of transition; I think she knew that, although she never said it. December came quickly and our first cold, gray Iowa winter was bearing down hard when a package arrived on our doorstep; it was a pretty big package and I was so excited to get it. These were the days before Amazon so packages were few and far between. It was from Mama and Papa Party. I dragged the big box in and tore it open, so excited for mail from a familiar face; guys, it was Christmas gifts. She’d mailed a big box of wrapped gifts to our family to make sure the kids had plenty of gifts under the tree. I sat on the landing and cried holding a gift to my chest, she had no idea how much it meant to me. Those were lean days and to have gifts for the kids that I knew they would love meant THE WORLD to me.

I emailed her, of course, to thank her.

I have so many stories like this. A lifetime of giving and loving and making those around her feel seen and like they belonged. What a beautiful legacy. It occurred to me as I was thinking about her and her amazingly well lived life…

I am a part of her legacy.

Me.

An insecure young woman who needed a friend more than I had the maturity to understand. And she was there. And she kept being there. She kept showing up over the years, when we moved, as the kids were growing, when my mom died, SHE WAS THERE.

To have a person in your life that keeps showing up like that is one of the greatest gifts in all the world. To have people that believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself, to have a place to share the deepest part of your heart knowing that person is going to treasure your feelings and pray for you, it’s the greatest gift. I am beyond grateful today that God, in his infinite wisdom, decided I needed a Billye Jean in my life.

Because I desperately did.

I don’t know what the days ahead are going to look like, it’s going to feel so different. I always knew she was there, in Dothan, sitting in her recliner checking her phone, watching football and probably cooking a cake or dinner for somebody. I can’t believe I’ll never get to have her coleslaw again, or her banana pudding or red velvet cake or any number of the amazing things she used to cook. I wish I could say I have the recipes to these scrumptious dishes and desserts, but I don’t. If you knew BJ, you knew not to ask how she made it. She would just say, “I don’t know, I just do it.” For a girl that lives closely to the recipe, I always admired her ability to make whatever she was cooking taste like heaven, without one.

I think the same could be said about her life.

If you asked her how she kept up with so many of us, how she loved so deeply with abandon, how she poured encouragement like there was an endless supply, how she opened her home without second thought, how she made you feel special, how she was the hands and feet of Jesus on a daily basis, I imagine she’d say, “I don’t know, I just do it.”

And to that I would say, yes…

yes you did, Billye Jean.

There are so many of us who can testify to her goodness, we are forever changed because of it.

I am going to miss her so much.

I will love her forever.

What a life.

See you in heaven, Mama and Papa Party.

From left to right: Shelly (BJ’s daughter), Me and Billye Jean