I was sitting by the pool in a beautiful place wondering what I was feeling. I was so happy to be on this trip, and I couldn’t have asked for a better destination or company. What was making me feel so, so…what? What was it?

Uncomfortable.

The word hit hard, and it resonated.

I felt uncomfortable.

But, why?

I was sitting in paradise.

Puzzled by this revelation I decided to make a mental list of all the reasons I might feel so ruffled.

My list…

Traffic was awful on the drive.

Bad weather made it even more stressful.

Road construction everywhere.

Traffic jam made everything take longer.

I was nervous about the logistics involved staying in a place far from home.

I wanted everything to be perfect, and it wasn’t.

Oh, and the heat…it was scorching.

I was sweating so hard, my swimsuit cover was stuck to me.

Ugh!

This was just the stuff I was facing while here in this place; my mind began to wander to places and things beyond paradise.

Relationships that were strained.

The endless struggle of fighting old age.

Finances.

The constant care of a home, animals, cars, I could go on and on…

It’s the stuff of life.

For weeks I’d felt this way but it wasn’t until that moment, under a giant orange umbrella by a gorgeous body of water, that I was able to see it for what it was, a tangled mess of emotions making me uncomfortable.

My first instinct was to ask the Lord to take this prickly stuff away and make life easier. But, before I could ask, I remembered something, discomfort makes me grow; it pushes me beyond my desire for an effortless life and shows me what I’m capable of.

I want easy and I wanted to ask God for it, but, I want growth more. Honestly, this is a relatively new place for me: to endure difficulty willingly so I’ll be stretched and grow stronger; these are unchartered waters for my mind. I’m used to enduring it, against my will of course, but to think twice about asking for “easier” was new territory for me.

I closed my eyes, they stung from the salty sweat that dripped from my forehead, “Lord, I prayed, I recognize that I’m really uncomfortable right now for a number of reasons, would you please help me to be thankful here in this place, in the very center of my misery?” It wasn’t an easy prayer to pray, but I felt more determined once I’d whispered the words.

I want depth more than comfort.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m NOT praying for more hard things in my life, I just want to accept the hard things that are already happening with grace and humility. I have a long way to go in this area, but I did feel a bit of gratitude that I was willing to pray for acceptance more than deliverance.

We go through periods where we have to decide if we’re going to lean into the difficult and grow stronger or if we’re going to sit in the misery and wait for it to be over. Either way we’re going through it, the former leads to inner strength and resilience, while the latter is the road to discontentment and despair.

It’s our choice.

I don’t know or understand why God allows us to go through difficult things, but I am convinced he knows what’s best. So if you’re like me, in the middle of uncomfortable times, trust in God, wipe the sweat off your brow, and carry on.