We have a Golden Retriever. 

His name is Jake.

He’s one year old and beautiful.  At least on the outside.

I question his inner beauty sometimes.  Just kidding.  (sorta)

Jake is a bit big for a Golden, weighing in at ninety pounds and is as strong as a mule.  He is rowdy and our trainer labeled him “pushy.”  She’s not wrong.  He does everything with enthusiasm and without real regard for anyone around him.  Basically, it’s his way or get out of the way or get run over; just ask anyone who knows him, they will totally back up my claim.

So, in an attempt to socialize him and teach how to “play well with others” we’ve been taking him to the park.  The hope is that people will stop and pet him, and he’ll grow accustomed to attention and not act like an animal who lives in the wild.   It’s been both a success and a failure depending on the day you ask.   One particular morning I woke up feeling especially inspired and decided I would venture out alone with Jake.  The park seemed like the perfect place for me to start making solo jaunts, so I loaded him up and headed that way.  

Let me give you a little context.

Jake came to us at six months old from a lady who wanted him but couldn’t handle him due to some medical issues.  So, it was a sad day when she decided to let him go to a new home and, you guessed it, we were that home.  He was WILD and she had yet to name him; so, when I tell you he is A LOT I am not exaggerating.  At a family meeting we came up with a name we felt suited him – Jake – and began the very challenging task of teaching him manners.  He had so much to learn and, honestly, a lot to unlearn.  Our home has not been the same since.  I, quite literally, have cried myself to sleep wondering if he will ever learn to listen to commands and settle down.  

Back to my park story.

So, the fact that I was taking him to the park by myself was no small thing.  But, I felt I was ready and it was time for us to venture out together, just the two of us.   We rolled into the parking lot, parked and I walked around to the back of the car to open the hatch.  He was drooling and already over excited; I immediately wondered if I’d made a mistake. But, in true pioneer spirit, I put his leash on and said, “let’s go.”   No backing out now, we were going to do this. It started out so great, we were immediately stopped by a lady about my age asking what kind of dog he was and if he shed etc…  She was so nice and patient as I was fighting with all my might to hold him back.  He wanted so badly to jump all over her, push past her legs, lean into her knees, you name it.  I was panicked because I thought any minute he was going to knock her over.  Oh Lord, I panick prayed, please don’t let him break her hip!  When we finally finished the conversation, she was covered in drool and hair, but amazingly she didn’t seem to mind.  On the other hand, I was mortified and covered in sweat from wrestling.  What in the world was I thinking bringing him BY MYSELF???!!!  But because I tend to be stubborn at times I decided he wasn’t going to control the situation, so I kept walking.  I did find myself avoiding people though, and that was the exact reason we came. 

One for Jake – Zero for Sandi.

We walked by a beautiful fountain and down the hill to the concrete pond, the water there is so pretty.  Everything seemed better except for the fact that he kept pulling against me.  I was starting to feel real fatigue from the tug of war happening while we walked.  But at least he hadn’t tried to knock anyone down trying to befriend them, so I was thankful.  

It was right after we crested a small hill, in the cool of the shade that it happened.   I’ve relived it multiple times in my imagination in living color; it was awful.  There she was, a cute little older lady, with a tiny grey dog, walking toward us as though she knew us.  I kept thinking she would deviate but, no, she bee lined straight to us with conviction and all I could do was stop in my tracks.  “Hi Bella,” she said with a big smile, I think even her dog was smiling.  Oh no, I cried in my head, she thinks we’re somebody else.  “How is she today?” the lady asked.   I smiled tentatively and Jake started pouncing in place like a kangaroo.   “He’s a boy.”  I smiled and tried to contain him even though I knew there was no hope.  The little grey dog started coming for Jake, not fully understanding the situation.  “His name is Jake.”   Her smile faded a little as she watched me wrestle this Golden beast.  “Oh.”  Before another word could be spoken Jake broke loose from my grip and headed for the friendly dog; the little lady’s face immediately changed to horror and I went lunging, arms flailing, toward the pair all while trying to explain he’s not aggressive, just pushy.  The grey dog got behind the little lady and Jake was going after it, never mind the fact that he weighed as much as little lady did.  This all happened in a matter of moments but it felt like minutes; all of it in slow motion.  I finally got a hold of Jake’s collar and pulled him toward me, the little lady still looked shocked and quickly made her escape.  I stood there, leash dangling, holding onto his collar, heart rate up and cheeks flushed wondering if I would fall dead of embarrassment right there in this beautiful shady place.

“Jake” I growled and pulled him toward the parking lot.  I was so angry and mumbled as much the whole way there. He pulled and I let him drag me along; I sometimes wonder who is walking who?  I just wanted to disappear.    “What were you thinking?” I scolded as he climbed into the back of the vehicle; he was breathless, drooling and looked exhausted from fighting me. I, too, was breathless and exhausted, I wasn’t drooling but I was furious. 

This dog.  Why doesn’t he do what we ask? We really do have his best interest at heart.  He makes his life so hard by trying to constantly have it his way. 

Later that day I was sitting on the couch and Jake was laying by the glass door soaking in the sun.   He looked so innocent and for a brief moment the whole episode at the park seemed like a bad dream.  Maybe I was just being too hard on him.   All the things we require are for his good though, so, why does he fight? Maybe he doesn’t understand.   If only he could see that obedience is the way to the life he really wants; the one full of treats and friends.  As long as he pushes against the structure and guidelines we lay out for him, he will remain restless and his life will be difficult.   

And he will exasperate himself to the point of drooling.

He needs to trust the process.

Trust that the things we ask him to do are for his good.  And trust that we won’t ask him to do things that are impossible.   And, basically, just TRUST US.  We want to help him overcome his tendencies to be pushy and defiant.  If and when he relaxes into the process, he will see how great life can truly be. 

Same with me…and you.

We can trust the process.  We can trust the ONE in charge of the process; he has our best interest at heart.  I say this humbly because trust doesn’t come easy for me.  I’ve learned a lot of lessons from this dog; watching him flail against the very thing that would bring him happiness has helped me to see myself more clearly. 

I need to trust.

I know trust takes time; and we’ve got time to work with Jake, he is still so young.   As for me, I’m not so young, but I want to put the time into learning how to trust because on the other side of the process there’s peace. And joy.  And freedom.  And so much more.

I don’t have any more solo trips planned to the park.  At least not in the immediate future, but I have been throwing the ball with him in the back yard and he LOVES it.  Well, until he gets tired and then he goes to the back door and stands as if to say, “I’m done now.”   He is such a character and, at this point, I’m not quite sure what I would do without him.