Sitting in the living room staring at the Christmas tree, probably should’ve taken it down days ago.  Nevertheless, here it stands reminding me of great memories while simultaneously making me feel like a sloth.   At least I’m a happy sloth.

I think I’m still a little Christmas cookie drunk.

This holiday has been dreamy, all of my children home together under one roof for more than a minute.  Other than the countless hours I’ve spent making food and doing dishes, it’s been almost perfect.  Those of you who love to cook cannot possibly understand why someone like me would find it less than enjoyable.

I know who you are.

You’re the ones who don’t need a recipe and don’t mind if the kitchen looks like a train wreck when you’re done.  You hum while you do the dishes and anticipate the next time you “get” to spend hours behind a kitchen counter preparing for any number of people.

I am NOT that person.

If I could afford a personal chef I would start the interviewing process immediately!!

Hey wait, could that be a new year’s resolution?

“I resolute (does that word work there?) to cook as little as possible this year.”

But that doesn’t help me right now, I have two boys that eat like it’s their last meal and testament.  Especially one who does not know what the word “full” means.  As an example, we went to Chick-fil-A (shout out to all the chicken nugget soul mates out there) for lunch and one son walks up and orders a market salad AND twelve piece grilled nuggets.

He’ll drink water, he tells me as consolation.

Forty dollars later and we’re eating at home from here on out.

Other than the constant food consumption, I honestly couldn’t ask for more this holiday season.  I’ve given and received, shopped, laughed, cried, talked, played games, watched movies, stayed up late, cooked and washed dishes.

And cooked and washed dishes.

In the middle of all this jolly, I can hardly believe we’ve entered a new year, a new decade.  Can you?  At the risk of sounding like a Christmas card, time sure does fly.  Last year held a lot of changes for our family.  We sold our house in April, I quit my long time job in May and we moved into my dad’s house for a seven week stay as we searched for a place to live in South Carolina.  We moved late in June and I spent my first weekend as a South Carolina resident over the Fourth of July weekend.  I didn’t see a single firework since I hardly knew where the grocery store was, but I did light a sparkler and celebrate this new place and new season, oh, and of course, America.

August brought the last birthday I will spend in my forties and then we started the march into the holiday season.  You know autumn, here, at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountains, is nothing short of spectacular.  I had many spontaneous praise and worship sessions as I drove around soaking in all of the brilliant colors painted on tree leaves.

I think orange was my favorite, it looked like it was on fire.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to carry into this new year, new decade.   What I want to embrace and what I want to leave behind.  If I’m naming things:  I want to forgive more and hold onto hurt feelings less.  I desperately need to believe unwaveringly in what God is doing in my life and quit living in a sea of doubt.  I want more compassion for others and to laugh more at myself.  I long to grow deeper in my faith and to be more intentional about my influence.

I leave this year with a greater appreciation for fellowship and friends, I understand the value of lunch dates over french fries filled with chatter and laughter.  I am going to be much more careful what I believe about others since I know what it feels like to be misjudged.  I will be kinder to strangers because I know how it feels to be unknown in a new place.  I plan to be present more and less tipsy-binging on social media.

I have some goals and hopes for the coming twelve months and beyond, but mostly I want to set my heart and mind on doing good and growing in faith.  I have some work to do in figuring out who I am in this new state, with all adult children and no current job.  My life looks nothing like it did a decade ago.  I can’t look too far into the future, my personality gets a little freaked out about what “could” happen, but what I do know is the Lord carried me through the last ten years and He will sustain me through the next.

And He will do the same for you.

He promises, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:2

Speaking of water, that reminds me, I have dishes in the sink.

Sooo…Happy New Year!!

I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.